Individualistic Culture Growing Acceptance
Individualistic culture, or the rise of culture, means I, not we, the rise of I feeling rather than we feeling I and my. My home, my money, my income, my interests, etc. Everything has many merits and also demerits.
According to social psychology, individualism is a social behavior pattern that prioritizes one person above others. Keep reading to gain insight into individualism in society.
Coleman contends that the rise in “self-help” literature and the emphasis on personal happiness is related to a broader change toward individualistic culture in Western society. Many of us are significantly less reliant on relatives compared to past generations.
“Because we don’t rely on our families for financial support or because we expect to inherit the family farm, the people we choose to spend time with reflect our identities and aspirations for personal development rather than our immediate needs,” he says. “Today, nothing binds an adult child to a parent beyond that adult child’s decision to have that bond,” says sociologist Robert Putnam.
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With setting limits for themselves and rejecting unwanted offers or requests, as observed by Sam. Opportunities to relocate for the job to distant towns or even nations have increased the physical distance that can be put between adult children and their parents, which can help facilitate a divorce.
“It’s been easier for me to travel about than it would have certainly been 20 years ago,” admits Faizah, a British citizen of South Asian descent who has not lived in the same area as her family since 2014.
She claims she severed relations with them because of their “controlling” actions, such as discouraging her from pursuing employment opportunities, seeking influence over her friendships, and pressuring her to marry soon after finishing school. They didn’t honor my personal space, she complains. I want to be responsible for my own life and decisions.
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Many adult children have cut ties with their parents because they see it as harmful. Coleman asserts that studies have found that most grown offspring agree it was for the best. Even though alienation often results in better mental health and a sense of enhanced independence, Pillemer says that it can also lead to emotions of instability, embarrassment, and stress.
Unlike other forms of grief, “the willful, active cutting of personal bonds is different,” he says. “In addition, people lose the practical advantages of having a family, such as financial support and being a part of a stable group of people who know each other well,” the author writes.
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For Many People Already Feeling Alone,
The pandemic heightens their sense of isolation and shame. Recent UK research reveals that adults with broken links felt especially more aware of losing out on family life during the lockdown, even though the “Zoom boom” enabled other families to feel closer and remain in touch more regularly.
Various studies have found that holidays and religious celebrations can be particularly difficult for families estranged from one another. Faizah agrees, “I have my own family, husband, and closest friends, but nothing can replace the rituals you share with your family.
” She is now in her thirties and has separated herself from her parent’s religion, but the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr remains difficult for her. To wit: “It’s really difficult. It’s so lonely here… and I miss my mother’s cuisine.
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Estrangement may not be permanent if the parties involved can effectively reconcile.
A lack of communication with parents can have lasting effects on the strength of future family ties and the continuation of beloved customs.
Scott says, “My biggest regret is that my children did not have the opportunity to know their grandparents.” That’s better than my folks stating, “I don’t know what, but I feel like my kids are losing out,” I guess.
Of course, this also affects the parents who have been forcibly, and sometimes voluntarily, removed from their children’s and maybe grandchildren’s lives. Coleman claims that this causes much distress for parents.
“Express intense sentiments of loss, humiliation, and regret” is a common theme among those who have lost their footing in the conventional family unit.
Scott says his mom just tried to reach him. But he told her he would only consider resuming communication with his kids if she acknowledged that her remarks were “horribly racist” and apologized for them.
According to him, she hasn’t been doing that. Even if all of that did occur, I would still be very careful about how much personal information I shared and always have someone there during contact with the children. I don’t see any of it occurring, though.
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Many analysts predict that parents and children ‘breaking up’ will continue, especially given the prominence of political conflicts in many countries and the rise of individuality across cultures.
“My prediction is that it’s going to get worse or stay the same,” adds Coleman. More emphasis will be placed on pursuing happiness and individual development in family connections and less on duty, obligation, or responsibility.
However, Pillemer thinks that we shouldn’t give up on trying to bring people together who have fundamentally different political or value systems (as opposed to abusive or damaging behaviors).
There is proof that many family members may mend fences if the original bond between them is strong (or at least not tense). “But it does require agreeing on a demilitarized zone where politics are off limits,” he argues. It can be challenging. I miss my mother’s cuisine and the company of other people.
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He talked to over a hundred exes who had healed their differences and discovered that many saw the experience as “an engine for personal growth.” “Of course, it’s not for everyone, but for many, mending a rift—even if the resulting connection was imperfect—was a source of self-esteem and personal pride.”
He says the issue of alienation needs to be brought “out of the shadows and into the full light of open conversation” through long-term studies and clinical focus. Researchers and scholars need to make more effective strategies for assisting those who desire to reconcile and those who must deal with those from whom they will never be able to negotiate.
The increasing scrutiny of adult breakups is something Scott is happy to see. A lot of people, he believes, will benefit from it. .Despite the advancements in modern society, separation and divorce continue to hold a considerable amount of social stigma and can often be perceived as a failure in a relationship. Many group members have asked me or others,
“What do you tell people?”
or “How do you bring it up while dating?”
No matter how much he tries, he probably won’t be able to make up with his parents if they don’t admit their racism. Says one character: “The whole ‘blood is thicker than water’ – I mean, that’s wonderful if you have a decent family, but if you’re burdened with toxic individuals, it’s just not doable.”
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